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The Anthony Pellicano Wiretapping Trial of the Century is turning into a bit of a disappointment, offering not the Skittles waterfall of celebrity secrets we all were hoping for, but instead only popping out a stale gumball of dirt here and there. In this latest chapter courtesy of NY Daily News, we find out Pellicano had a mysterious grudge against surveillance target Sylvester Stallone (though paying to see Driven would seem motive enough), and learn of a desperate call from Naomi Campbell that makes the fierce runway glamazon sound more like a last-legs Marilyn Monroe:

Former Pellicano legman Paul Barresi says he personally "never used any illegal means" to gather information for his boss. But he says Pellicano definitely hungered for anything that might embarrass the "Rocky" star.

Barresi says Pellicano relished a 1991 tape on which Naomi Campbell allegedly pleaded with one of Stallone's security guards to have the actor call her.

"If he doesn't call me, I probably will have taken the whole [bleeping] bottle of Valium by the time he gets back," a woman, supposedly Campbell, says on the tape (which we've heard).

When the security guard tells the woman that's a bad idea, she shoots back: "I've done it before. Don't worry. [The paramedics] always get me in time."

Don't do it, Naomi! He's not worth it! Fifteen years later, you'll still be turning it out on the catwalk, and he'll be fighting a new terrorist-boxer hybrid in a patriotic Rocky sequel no one is ever going to see. Now put those Valium back in that bottle and go directly back to bed until someone offers you ten grand a day to put on a dress and look mean for the camera.