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Today's Page Six reports on the "multiple meltdowns" that followed in the wake of Wednesday night's Grammy awards ceremony, including a road-clogging snafu incited by America's Favorite Fauxteur:

...At [the Grammy afterparty thrown by billionaire Ron] Burkle's, "Rush Hour" director [Brett] Ratner caused a one-hour traffic jam after paramedics and a fire truck were called in response to his full-blown panic attack - caused by an argument with his date - in front of the Spanish-style mansion. Cops came later and had the music turned off.

"Ratner was complaining of shortness of breath while leaning by the VIP check-in desk," a witness told The Post's Braden Keil. "My heart is racing," the witness overheard him repeating.

Ratner, however, recklessly endangered his health (and perhaps even more chillingly, the future of the Rush Hour franchise) by haggling with the concerned check-in staff. In between gasps of precious breath, the director demanded that three ambulances and a pair of medical choppers service his distress call; after the helicopters collided and the whirlybird fireball fell from the sky, destroying the first two emergency vehicles on the scene, the third would barrel through the ensuing wall of flame and deliver Ratner to the safety of a nearby hospital. But once a second, more intense wave of paralyzing anxiety gripped him, the staffers were finally able to negotiate him down to a single fire truck, the paramedic team, and a "kick-ass" traffic jam, citing the logistical and budgetary problems posed by his original rescue vision.