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We received an unusually obtuse (and unusually witty) press release yesterday:

LITTLE, BROWN AND THE ONION TO PUBLISH INCREDIBLE NEW BOOK, ONLY VAGUELY DESCRIBED HERE
(New York February 13, 2006) Little, Brown and Company is thrilled to announce that it will publish the next new book from The Onion, America's Finest News Source. The book will be the first all-original book from The Onion staff since the massive #1 New York Times bestseller OUR DUMB CENTURY. Details regarding the contents of the book are highly confidential, but janitors looking through Little, Brown's trash have discovered that the new Onion project promises to be the single most comprehensive source of information about everything in the world. They have also discovered that many Little, Brown employees still refuse to put recyclable paper in the green trash cans, not the brown ones, despite several detailed memos explaining the proper procedures.

Hoping to learn a bit more, we asked an Onion contact to elaborate. His reply:

All I can really say is that it will be our first book of original content in 8 years and we are (genuinely) excited about it.

And can also say that there will be many erotic images in it. Cock, vag, the whole nine yards.

So there you go: The Onion's first all-new book since Our Dumb Century is coming, and it will contain porn. Or else it might contain no porn at all, and we're just being fucked with. In either case, we have no doubt you'll love it and buy it and quote it to friends, and it will be a best-seller. It's scheduled for fall '07, so prepare yourselves.

The full Little, Brown release is after the jump.

Contact: Heather Rizzo, VP, Director of Publicity
(212) 522-XXXX or xxxx@twbg.com

LITTLE, BROWN AND THE ONION TO PUBLISH INCREDIBLE NEW BOOK, ONLY VAGUELY DESCRIBED HERE

(New York February 13, 2006) Little, Brown and Company is thrilled to announce that it will publish the next new book from The Onion, America's Finest News Source. The book will be the first all-original book from The Onion staff since the massive #1 New York Times bestseller OUR DUMB CENTURY. Details regarding the contents of the book are highly confidential, but janitors looking through Little, Brown's trash have discovered that the new Onion project promises to be the single most comprehensive source of information about everything in the world. They have also discovered that many Little, Brown employees still refuse to put recyclable paper in the green trash cans, not the brown ones, despite several detailed memos explaining the proper procedures.

Founded by two students in Madison, Wisconsin, in 1988, The Onion is now America's most popular humor periodical. It receives three million distinct Web views per week and has a print circulation of one million copies. In a history spanning fifteen years, six popular books, and numerous awards, The Onion has attracted legions of loyal fans drawn to its fearless reporting and scathing commentary on world events, human behavior, and journalistic convention. The Washington Post has declared that The Onion "leaves its readers teary-eyed with laughter." Wired has described it as "satire at its finest." The New Yorker has said that The Onion is the "funniest publication in the United States." Al Gore says, "The Onion is tasteless and destructive of our shared values."

The new Onion book reunites the OUR DUMB CENTURY team for the first time since 1998. Apparently it will be full-color, hardcover, and will include, among other things, a table of contents, individually numbered pages, and a bold, attention-getting cover. Says Little, Brown editor in chief Geoff Shandler, "We are 110 percent committed to making this the biggest Onion project yet. And when we learn more about what the book is, that percentage will rise to 120 percent." Publication is scheduled for fall 2007.

The book was acquired at auction with Daniel Greenberg of Levine Greenberg Literary Agency, Inc., representing The Onion.

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