Anderson Cooper Is Not a 40-Year-Old Virgin: Your Punchlines
Sigh. See, like we said, the problem was that Coop didn't actually write the 40YOV blog post; correspondent Randi Kaye did. Which meant we were looking for jokes that didn't presume our Anderson was the one teaching readers how to become revirginized.
That means that the best and obvious joke didn't really work. So everyone who submitted versions of "Because anal doesn't count" only gets Gawky like. (Even Jason Coffey, who had the best phrasing: "It doesn't count if it's anal. Just ask Jessica Simpson.")
Gawky like also goes to reader "MD," who wrote the only punchline that both understood the ground rules and was moderately amusing: "Randi Kaye?! Anderson, you cannot use your drag name to ghostwrite vagina-envy pieces."
But Gawky love is reserved for Liz Billet, whose entry works whether AC was the item's author or not, and who impresses us with her command of the larger Coop oeuvre: "I have to tell you, there are 40-year-old virgins here who are very upset and angry, and when they hear PnPer's thanking one another on Craiglist, it just, you know, it cuts them the wrong way right now."
God we love it when he's indignant.
