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Earlier today, a Defamer operative watched in appalled horror as entertainment industry etiquette was willfully ignored and famous-type person Elijah Wood was brutally accosted by that most lethal of coffee shop denizens, the sketchy, pitch-happy "producer." Says our scandalized spy:

I am not one who usually feels anything but envy in regards to celebrities, but my heart went out to poor Frodo, aka ELIJAH WOOD, at Starbucks on Vermont this morning (2/22). Frodo spilled one of the three drinks he was buying and the Bucky's employees were super nice about it. But not even sure they recognized him, they're all overly cheerful there. Anyway, this totally skeezy dude, maybe in his early 50s, corners unassuming Frodo and starts to pitch him some project! I felt so embarrassed for Frodo I had to turn away...and simply eavesdrop instead of openly stare. Frodo was a true gentleman, not only LISTENING to this guy's "pitch" but even asking him questions.

The dude is like, "Where can I send you the script?" If you can believe it, Frodo nicely named his agent and agency. The skeezy "producer" guy kept getting the agent's name wrong and she's a pretty big time agent, as in if you have any legitimacy in the biz at all you'd already know who she was. Then the "producer" dude actually had the nerve to say to Frodo, "So, do you live around here?" Frodo was trapped into explaining that no, he lives in Venice, but his mom was at a hairdresser's up the street. How cute is that?? Not only does he hang out with his MOM while she's getting her hair done but even fetches her coffee!! (Hmmm. Maybe he's gay after all.) I was so riveted with the Frodo drama this morning, I put like 14 packs of Sweet n Low into my coffee just to keep listening and almost accosted Frodo on the way out simply to say, "Dude, I feel your pain."

All in all, Wood handled the delicate situation the only way he could. As any recognizable actor can tell you, local Starbucks are a virtual minefield of maniacs patiently waiting for an opportunity to pitch you a career-saving blockbuster, and the slightest sign that you're blowing off their advances could result in being beaten to death with a last-generation Powerbook. It's best to nod, give out your agent's information, and let them deal with the subsequent threats on their life.