In this highly speculative edition Gawker Stalker: Lindsay Lohan and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers at Bungalow 8 and the Spotted Pig, a rotund but curt Jared Leto, Bjork, Paul Rudd, Harvey Weinstein, Steven Spielberg and daughter, Susan Sarandon and daughter, Bob Balaban, Josh Lucas, Matthew Fox, Chelsea Clinton, David Cross, Sandra Bernhardt, Matt Dillon, Eric Balfour, The Flying Tomato, John "Artie Bucco" Ventimiglia, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Mandy Moore, Alec Baldwin, Cynthia Nixon, Diana Krall and Elvis Costello, Oliver Platt, Roseanne Cash, Jerry Springer, and Mario Cantone.

Bungalow 8, morning of 2/22. It was a fairly slow night, but Lindsay Lohan was there with a pretty large posse. Only two bathroom trips and she seemed to be holding it together alright. She's still way skinny, BTW. She's not as scary as she was almost a year ago but all this talk in the press about her being at a healthy weight now is pure Hollywood mind-fuck distortion. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers was there and hung out with L-Lo. for a while at her table They seemed friendly, but I doubt they're dating. The dual sighting was all that much weirder because I read this month s Lohan profile in "Allure" mentions the part where he pops by her at the Chateau Marmont and they exchange a quick peck. Maybe she's trying to show gravitas by hanging with more "serious" actors rather than, uh, Nicole Richie? Right, that must be it...

Was at the bar at the Spotted Pig last night when Lindsay Lohan and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers were ushered into a curtained room in the back. Not sure what this implies...but can the bitch never stay home?

Enjoying the day off, I joined my good friend Petrit for brunch at Balthazar. After not too much of a wait, we scored a table adjacent to the corner table by the bar. Engrossed in conversation we barely noticed the guy who sat next to us in the corner. A little chubby, he was dining alone, took the seat facing the wall and kept his hat on with the brim pulled over his eyes. Hung over maybe? He had ordered waffles as well as fried eggs with French fries, but that wasn't odd what was odd was that he was reading "the Master Cleanser." (a cleansing program as reading material to go with your double entr e?) "Hey," I asked him, "is that the program where you drink nothing but water, lemon juice, cayenne pepper and maple syrup for a week?" He barely glanced up at me, "I don't know, I just started reading it, someone gave it to me." He then lowered his head re-adjusted his hat and continued with his reading and his food. Probably some D list celeb eating like that, he'll need a good cleanse. Hat boy finished his waffles and his eggs, we finished Brunch and asked for the check at about the same time he did. I noticed he was almost through with the book. "So is it the program with the lemon juice and the maple syrup?" He purposely ignored me, so I asked again, and once more he ignored me. Petrit nudged him, "she's asking you something" I repeated my question. "I don't know." He answered. "Well it looks like you're midway through the book, when do they tell you what you get to eat?" He ignored me one last time and looked around for the waiter. It was then I noticed who it was. Jared Leto. I couldn't help but laugh.

Tuesday night at the Rose Theatre at Lincoln Center: first I saw a woman walking out of the backstage door wearing what can only be described as many-colored harlequin pajamas, top and bottom. Then I looked at the shoes. They were a cross between pumps and clogs, sort of what Minnie Mouse wears on her feet, except they were red and I'm trying to remember if they were completely covered in plush or red yarn, but they definitely had little white bows (or stars or penguins) all over them. When I recovered from the shock, I looked at the face and sure enough it was Bjork, looking otherwise lovely, with beautiful pale skin and very dark, shiny hair. She was with not-Matthew Barney, more like a handler-pal who tried to steer her away gently from a salivating fan who blabbered for two minutes and then asked for an autograph on a piece of paper. My friend and I wanted to say something to her, but I guess we were intimidated by the costume.

Paul Rudd shuffled past me on 6th Avenue and 11th street today. We made eye contact and he looked very cute, despite his oversized army green parka. It looked like he was wearing a tent. I'd sleep with him anyway.

On Friday afternoon a friend & I were walking down Bleecker, feeling really worn down after the Barney's Warehouse Sale, and I saw Harvey Weinstein walking toward us. He could tell I knew who he was and he clearly didn't care. There was absolutely no color in his face. He was sumo-size and was wearing lots of ruddy caramel-brown layers that matched his hair just so. He was working a cyborg look, with a big silvery hands-free phone device emerging from the left side of his head. We had a mini staring contest. He won.

Steven Spielberg leisurely walking down Fifth Ave (at 9th street) with step-daughter Jessica Capshaw. Wearing a baseball cap and had his hands in his pockets like he's just a cool, regular guy. If by cool, regular guy you mean one of the greatest film directors of our time. Recognized his voice before I noticed him.

Spotted Susan Sarandon and daughter Eva Amurri at Fatty Crab on Hudson (Eva looking lush tall like dad, rack like mom although she annoyingly screamed her brown.edu email address into her phone while at the table.) Susan indulged in the Chili Crab, a massive bowl of claws; it got messy. They dined with Bob Balaban (head of NBC on Seinfeld) and others, discussed loudly (I guess due to the loud unes) about projects and money issues with those projects. Balaban left early but paid for the lunch leaving a credit card number with the waiter...

I had a brief chat with Josh Lucas yesterday while he & a ladyfriend were shopping on Bleecker Street. I ll tell you what he is smokin hot. Those blue eyes that look like those-can't-be-real-and-must-be-touched-up in photos? They re soo real in all their can-I-just-melt-into-those watery turquoise goodness.

Just now, 2/21, at Mercer Kitchen Matthew Fox looking very handsome in a velvet blazer. Not sure if he even ate there; looked like he just used the restroom. Had the sort of douchebag look on his face one would expect, considering he s supposed to be a douchebag. All I could do was pray Sawyer was in tow, but he wasn t.

Saw Chelsea Clinton at Union Square Whole Foods this evening (2.21.06). She was much taller than one would expect, almost an Amazon in her heels. The fish guy was out of whatever she was looking for, and apologizing to her profusely. She seemed unfazed, and was rather polite.

Saw the non-fake David Cross at Hifi late on Friday night (2/17). My (admittedly drunken and Arrested Development-obsesed) friend approached him and showed a picture from her camera phone of her boyfriend dressed as (a surprisingly accurate) Tobias for Halloween. Non-fake David, who was talking with an attractive (female) brunette, remained pleasant and even appeared to be slightly flattered. When will Showtime pick up that show already?

At a very crowded Cookshop in Chelsea on sat. 2/18th: Sandra Bernhardt and curly red-headed daughter and perhaps nanny eating dinner at a booth; daughter was stylishly dressed in multi-color pink, orange wool coat. While tons of people were standing by bar, drinks in hand, Sandra and party were quickly ushered to table by host. Also same night, same restaurant, saw James Gandolfini and wife leaving restaurant with large party (of seeming non celebrities).

I saw Oscar-nominee Matt Dillon this morning on Madison at 97th, apparently walking to Mount Sinai. I hope he s OK. I stared lovingly. He noticed, and didn t scowl.

Monday, Feb 20: Eric Balfour (of Six Feet Under fame) in Soho's Burton flagship store looking befuddled by both the overwhelming amount of waterproof outerwear options and the fact that he went completely unrecognized and was outshone by the mob attracting presence of none-other-than the Flying Tomato himself, Shaun White. The surprisingly small in stature (and foot, according to my boyfriend, who insisted that his tiny feet must have been bound like in China of old) Flying Tomato was there for a surprise in-store appearance to promote not his gold medal (mysteriously absent from his neck) but his line of hip (?) snowboarding wear. Had red-headed look-alike mom-type and publicist in tow.

Just as I'm starting to get excited for the Sopranos to finally be on again, who do I see this afternoon (2/21/06)? John "Artie Bucco" Ventimiglia, on the corner of Carroll Street and 7th Avenue in Park Slope, lighting a cigarette.

I was sitting in a coffee shop in the west village this morning and Philip Seymour Hoffman s son was making fish faces into the window. He is absolutely adorable with red hair and P.S.H. and his wife were laughing and sitting on a bench outside. They looked so hella awesome and happy but not in a boring west village way.

Saw Mandy Moore today (02/21) on the corner of 6th Ave. and W. 4th. She was looking a bit cold and confused that post-subway ride look and really gorgeous. Her hair was swept back in a messy up-do and she was wearing some kind of puffy yet slimming coat with fur-lined hood, but still, VERY pretty. She always looks so cute in films and pictures, but she s striking in person.

Last night, @ 5:30pm, I walked by a rather handsome Alec Baldwin, riding the stationary bike. He was wearing thick-rimmed glasses (very unrecognizable) He looked slimmer than I had thought & didn't seem to be working w/ a trainer. Was all alone, pedaling away.

After work on Tuesday, saw Cynthia Nixon and her lady love walking through Times Square. Only noticed it was them after I passed them, but they didn't look too happy. Anyway, they were holding hands amongst the out-of-towners, which made me a proud fag for my dyke sisters.

I flew from Nashville to LaGuardia with Diana Krall and Elvis Costello. They are both surprisingly attractive, though he carries a purple patent leather bowling bag with his name on it in huge letters.

Well I m unsure as to whether he s worthy or not but I saw Oliver Platt today (2/22) around lunch time, walking down 14th street between 8th and 9th Avenues. He seemed to be in a daze, just strolling along, wearing a sweatshirt with an Italian flag on the sleeve. On my way back from picking up lunch he appeared again except he was riding a bike, not sure where it came from, and crossing 14th street. Maybe that s why he looked preoccupied he forgot where he parked his bike!

Saw Rosanne Cash this afternoon in Chelsea on the corner of 23rd and 7th. This happened just as I finished listening to her daddy's classic, "Folsom Prison Blues," on my iPod. It was freaky to say the least. She was dressed in a poofy coat and wearing brown cords and a cool hat. She was with her kid, a mini Man in Black.

My roommate and I spotted Jerry Springer out in Queens while we were shopping on Austin Street. Well, my roommate spotted him; I only saw the back of his head. He looked pretty tall and not hot. Probably no one will care about Jerry Springer in Queens, though. What a lame sighting. But maybe it is lame enough that it will be cool.

President's Day, Feb. 20th standing at the corner of 25th St and 9th Ave. around 3pm -resident gay-bor, stand up comic and Charlotte York's fabulous fag friend, Mario Cantone. The man is really fucking short! He seemed to be a little flustered as he
fumbled to pick up his ringing phone. I was so hoping he would answer with his Liza impersonation the only one he ever does! or with "Chanel-o!" (an homage to a SATC episode where he walks into a Chanel boutique w/Charlotte and notices a hunky security guard. Damn. I'm pretty gay.)