Paris Hilton Restraining Order Issued; Rest Of World Envious
A judge with the wisdom of a latter-day King Solomon has come up with an ingenious solution in the complicated matter of enforcing a restraining order meant to keep Paris Hilton from a party promoter who runs in her circles:
A court commissioner has signed off on an unusual restraining order against celebutante Paris Hilton, ordering her to stay at least 100 yards away from event producer [Brian Quintana], who claimed she threatened him unless they're at a party together. [...]
The agreement stipulates that when they attend the same parties, "the stay-away distance may be shortened to 25 feet," according to court papers.
Those must have been some serious threats for someone as celebrity-friendly as Quintana to demand a restraining order from the high-profile Hilton. With this legal Pandora's Box now open, however, we fear the domino effect to follow: Every man, woman and child on the planet would be justified in following suit, and the only enforceable solution would be the launching of pariah Hilton towards the outer reaches of the universe in her own specially outfitted hot-pink space-egg...We're sorry. We just lost ourselves in that lovely image.
UPDATE: A reader sent us this picture on Quintana's website of hunter and hunted in happier times.
