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Valleywag's conference-going correspondent — or ConFonz, the name he's adopted for protection and lucrative merchandising ops — sends a multi-part report from the SF-hosted Game Marketing Conference. Why does ConFonz always get pushed out by dermatologists or dowagers?

Remember, these are the same people that told you John Romero is going to make you his bitch.

The Game Marketing Conference took place behind Sega's San Francisco offices on Wednesday and Thursday. It's strange being here because a double digit percentage of the folks here have fired me (There's yer only clue!)

One highlight, however, was watching the faces on the various media sales people's faces when Doug Scott, EA's director of entertainment marketing, said that he felt 50% of EA"s marketing budget should be spent on non-traditional (read non-print/non-banner) marketing. The room chuckled a bit, then shifted uncomfortably, as the Ziff Davis and IGN people collectively shit themselves.

The highlights of the event were twofold: first, as soon as the 600 Townsend-hosted event was over at 5 PM, the little old lady's auxiliary showed up to host an art opening for the Norwegian design exhibit in the lobby. They carted in cases of 2-buck-chuck and hassled the conference attendees, demanding that they remove themselves from the premises immediately. Sean, VP of Kohnke Communications, was threatening to beat the living shit out of the old bags, but relented when it came time to head across the street to the Khonke-hosted I-Play party at the Mars Bar.

In Part II, ConFonz drops the party gossip.

Game Marketing Conference [The Game Initiative]