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Today's Observer publishes a tough investigation into what they identify as the new Affect, a subtle-yet-annoying dialect practiced by city girls of a certain ilk. While we may be so surrounded by the uptalking sounds of these young women as to hardly notice them, linguists identify the Affect by the continual extension of vowels, clipped consonants, and the hoarse whine of Parliaments. The junior linguists at the Observer also posit that there's also another means of identifying the Affected:

They have college diplomas from Georgetown and Penn, and respectable addresses in Kips Bay and wherever else laundry machines in doorman buildings spin Theory pants and Michael Stars shirts in a black and pastel blur.

Are you kiiiiiding? They haven't worn Michael Stahhhrs since their last AEPhi reunion.

City Girl Squawk: It s Like So Bad — It. Really. Sucks? [NYO]