They'll steal your body!
Google was awarded the bizarrely conceived "Captain Hook award for biopiracy" this week for its supposed plans to build a genomic search engine, says ZDNet. Never mind that Google's alleged collaborators, the gene researchers at J. Craig Venter, deny any long-term plans with Google. And forget that a vast online database of individuals' genomes won't be possible for decades. They could be stealing our precious bodily fluids. Draining our essence. Fluorinating our water.
Quit the crackpot theories and focus on the really important questions — like, "Is M.C. Hammer playing at the Google party?"