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Back in August, some random perv on the R train whipped out his shlong and showed it off to 22-year-old Thao Nguyen. Nguyen had the presence of mind to snap his pic with her cameraphone, and the shot made its way to a website and then to the front page of the Daily News. At which point it was discovered that the flasher was in fact a very specific perv: Dan Hoyt, the owner of the East Village restaurant Quintessence and a leader of the raw-food movement. Convicted of public lewdness and awaiting sentencing in a few weeks, he allowed himself to be profiled in the new New York. You'd imagine he'd have lots of apologetic things to say, wouldn't you? Probably some therapized talk about how he was frustrated and misunderstood and acting out in response to childhood neglect, right? Alas, wrong. Way wrong:

As for his R-train exploits, Hoyt says, "I've met women who enjoy it. After this incident happened, I had a woman tell me, 'You know, that sounds exciting to me.' She wouldn't mind being on the other end."...

Hoyt believes that if he and Nguyen had only met under different circumstances, she might really like him. "You know, she'd go, 'That guy's pretty cool. He's got this restaurant, and he's fun,'" Hoyt says. "She'd probably want to go out with me."

Of course she would.

Onan The Vegetarian [NYM]