Friday:
 • Good Friday is for suckas. Collective:Unconscious presents Pinchbottom's Sub:Conscious, a new monthly burlesque show (as there weren't enough monthly burlesque shows crowding Manhattan). This week's theme, just in time for the holidays: blasphemy. [Pinchbottom]
• New monthly thing, continued: Injection is a series of benefit concerts, kicking off tonight at the Brooklyn Lyceum, with proceeds going to a relief organization in New Orleans. Put your money to good use. Just this once. [Injection]
Saturday:
 • Find the irony: Measles Mumps Rubella are "chic-punk" band with a "groove-happy disposition." Golly, we bet they're contagious. [flavorpill]
• It's the biggest thing to happen to Post-Its since Sex and the City: Monkey Town hosts a Post-It Note Reading, featuring This American Life's David Rakoff and Starlee Kine. Cross your fingers for some neon colors. [flavorpill]
Sunday:
 • Keep Kosher at Meshuganeh Comedy, an evening of Jewish comics. We're not sure how it's different from any other comedy show in Manhattan, but you work with what you have. [Upcoming]