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Allrighty, let's get cracking, Mr. Crow. Baste the billionaire in oil and turn the stove to gas mark 6. The greasy grocer is in full panic mode and he's running out of clean pants.

We'd like to share with you this word from Joseph Tacopina, esq., former federal prosecutor and legal counsel for your beloved stand-in Editor: "We will be pursuing all of our legal options, including suits for slander and libel, as a much more complete picture of Mr. Burkle's tactics comes to light."

(Naoma, I hope you have plenty of petty cash stored up in the civil liability fund.) - JPS