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The accusations of violence, drugs, gay porn, whoremongering, lying, bad mothering, and publicity-whoring in the Great Charlie Sheen/Denise Richards Divorce War (please assign the preceding transgressions to either party as you see fit) were already damaging enough. But if you doubted for even a second that Sheen and Richards were hurtling toward mutually assured tabloid destruction, consider the gossip Apocalypse that Team Richards is calling down from the heavens by invoking David Spade's love life. (Quick recap: Richards is angered that Spade—who is seeing Richards ex-bff Heather Locklear, we think—called the gay divorcée a backstabber for dating Richie Sambora, who is divorcing Locklear. Got it? Good. We're shooting ourselves in the gut with a nail gun for typing that out.) Says Page Six:

A source very close to Richards tattled to Page Six: "David is notorious for preying on married women like Heather Locklear and Rebecca Romijn and Krista Allen, who goes back and forth between David and George Clooney . . . And Heather was seeing David last year." (While we didn't want to interrupt our source, we should point out that Allen is not married.)

By way of comparison, our Richards intimate insisted that the "Wild Things" actress only began dating Sambora in March, after both of their marriages had fallen apart.

Spade's spokeswoman, Meredith O'Sullivan, said of our source's claims: "These remarks are completely false and unfounded. It is unfortunate that anyone would feel the need to attack the character of someone who has done nothing wrong and isn't involved in this situation."

Perhaps the only thing less savory than being forced to contemplate Spade's Hollywood sexual history is having to contemplate it a second time, scrubbed up and filtered through a publicist's denial. But as long as we're on the subject, they may have missed some easy PR points by not going with a more honest and straightforward, "David Spade is shocked and saddened that he's being punished for finally having sex with a woman that can't be impressed by his career."