On the Ellen show today, Tom Cruise made a last-ditch effort to repair his image with women by personally—personally—handing out Mother's Day flowers to the audience. Letting Katie out of her contract a billion years early would probably accomplish the image rehab a lot more efficiently.
· O.J. Simpson's Juiced: Fewer stabbings, more titties.
· Celebrities in Africa update! Matt Damon learns about the AIDS epidemic, while Brad and Angelina start a line of housewares. Which, frankly, sounds like a lot more fun than what Damon is doing.
· Emmy Rossum's 90 seconds of lung capacity was a lot more impressive before that soggy attenion whore David Blaine came around.