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Today's Observer reveals that in the wake of Jared Paul Stern and Burkle-gate, Page Six has been looking for a full-time staffer to accompany Paula Froelich and Chris Wilson on their magical, gossipy journey. Unfortunately, several people have turned down the offer. According to Gabe Sherman, that list includes:

• Jacob Bernstein
• Elisa Lipsky-Karasz
• Marshall Heyman
• Us
• Noelle Hancock
• Chris Tennant
• Derek Blasberg

But that's by no means a complete rundown. Others who've declined the golden ticket:

• Choire Sicha
• Cindy Adams
• Amanda Lepore
• Sara Vilkomerson
• Elizabeth Spiers
• Jay McInerney
• A tumbleweed

Off the Record [NYO (2nd item)]