Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. This is our occasional text compilation of recent adventures in starfucking. Send your sightings to tips@gawker.com.

In this old-school edition of the Stalk: Mike Myers with his trademark accoutrement; P. Diddy, David Byrne, T.I. and an unidentified rapper at the Gnarls Barkley show; Russell Simmons, Carmelo Anthony and LaLa Vasquez, Jeffrey Ross, and Ice-T and Coco at the Blender Magazine party; Jake Gyllenhaal and Natalie Portman, Joaquin Phoenix, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Heath Ledger, Julia Roberts, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Bill Clinton, Benicio del Toro, Harrison Ford, Sarah Jessica Parker, Uma Thurman, Julianne Moore, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, Jon Stewart, Matt Dillon, Paul Giamatti, Malcolm Gladwell, James Marsden, Jeremy Sisto, Seth Green, Patrick Dempsey and Amy Adams, Tate Donovan, Logan Marshall-Green, Kate Moennig, Freddy Adu, Chris Carrabba, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Ed Burns and Christie Turlington, Mort Zuckerman, Seth Meyers, John McGinley, Emily Bishop, Michael McKean, Lou Dobbs, Frank Gifford, and Isaac Mizrahi.

Saturday afternoon, Ludlow Street, Mike Myers talking on his cell phone and carrying a freakin' hockey stick. When he saw me notice him, he pointedly turned his back on me as he talked on his phone. Easy, dude, my eyes weren't bugging out because I was thinking "Wow, it's Mike Myers, I should ask for his autograph;" they were bugging out because I was thinking "Jesus H Christ, it's Mike Myers, and he really DOES carry his hockey stick everywhere." Once I was out of earshot—or, admittedly, maybe before—I started giggling to myself.

The Gnarls Barkley show last night at Webster Hall was quite the event. Waiting outside, I watched James Blunt shyly enter the venue, scraggly hair, stubble, and babe in check. He looked depressed, or maybe just high. P. Diddy was upstairs on the left side of the balcony, acknowledged by Cee-lo towards the end of the show, along with rapper T.I. and another member of the Goodie Mob (either T-Mo, Big Gipp, or Khujo, I can't remember). David Byrne was at the other end of the balcony. Either way it was ridiculous and great. Cee-lo said fuck/motherfucker/fucking about 40x throughout, was wearing extremely tight yellow spandex, a sleeveless black shirt (the man weighs 325 lbs mind you), and a cape that looked like a pair of those Zoomba pants from back in the day.

Just got home from the Blender party on 31st and 10th, I'm a little drunk but let's see: we had Russell Simmons not being allowed to cut the men's room line by some guy with a Staten Island accent; Carmelo Anthony wearing a Michael Jordan t-shirt with MTV VJ LaLa Vasquez; Jeffery Ross with a hot girl; Ice-T and Coco.

Just saw Jake Gyllenhaal and Natalie Portman on the corner of Bleecker and Perry, walking past Olive and Bette's. They looked like friends without the benefits.

I saw Joaquin Phoenix on Monday night while I was sitting outside Cake Shop on Ludlow. He came out of a bar next door and got into a black Toyota with 4 other older guys. He looked a little drunk and aloof, smoking a cigarette and staring out the window.

I saw Mary-Kate and Ashley at a Free Arts benefit last night on 15th and 10th ave. They were sitting at the only table in the entire place, in a corner, looking bored and miserable. I thought that was messed up considering they were hosting the event. Mary-Kate had awful hair extensions, but Ashley was looking cute. Also was in the elevator on the way out with Aerin Lauder, who is pretty average looking when it all comes down to it.

Tuesday, may 23rd around 6pm on court st. in Brooklyn, saw Heath Ledger wearing his usual grunge, including an orange hat, sunglasses and skateboard in hand. Looked pretty serious—was he trying to figure out how to come up with the bail money for his father-in-law?

May 20, 1 PM. 7th ave and 39th st: Julia Roberts walking arm and arm with her gigantic body guard. She is very skinny, perhaps even gangly. She dresses very thrift store in a bad way.

Just ate lunch next to Jennifer Jason Leigh at Cafe Habana in Soho (Elizabeth and Prince). She was with a really cute guy and another woman and they were talking a lot about yoga...I think the guy is her yoga teacher. She looked a little tired. Later today, I spotted her again on a film set (Prince and Crosby) in the same outfit. She must be filming a movie in soho.

Saw Bill Clinton in front of Cooper Union (Astor place in between cooper and 3rd). A crowd was gathered around him. I saw the top of his white head and big nose. It looked like cooper union's commencement was going on, so perhaps it had something to do with that. He rolled up in a black on black, tinted suburban. Talked for maybe 5 minutes and then left. People were filming all of it.

Spotted Benicio del Toro looking scruffy but sexy just 5 minutes ago on 21st, b/t 5th and 6th. Tall and climb-able with a baseball cap and overgrown sideburns.

I saw Harrison Ford yesterday walking on 21st street between 6th and 7th avenues. He had a full gray beard, wearing a denim jacket and was walking a bit hunched over carrying two large shopping bags. Not a tall man and appeared cranky.

Last Thursday afternoon, May 18th, around 3:30 pm. Sarah Jessica Parker shopping alone on the 5th floor of Barney's. I was surprised at just how tiny she is in person. Wearing jeans, sneakers, a baggy tank top, no makeup. She looked tired as any mother of a toddler would. I almost bumped into her and she very meekly said "oh sorry" while keeping her head down, totally unassuming, definitely not wanting to call attention to herself. Put a big pile of clothes on the counter and disappeared while they were being rung up.

Holy crap, Batman! Just saw Poison Ivy — I mean Uma Thurman — eating lunch on 17th and Bway (Enju). A coworker lingered behind to bask in her awesomeness. Nothing much exciting happened.

Julianne Moore: Monday, May 22, circa 5:30: walking with child west on West 18th Street between Fifth and Sixth Avenues. Tiny and pale, sporting huge sunglasses. Turning heads along the way.

Saw Jay Z (sans Beyonce) Friday night at The Spotted Pig in the West Village, holding court in the upstairs alcove area. Jill Hennessy of Crossing Jordan/Law & Order fame was also there, looking very unassuming—jeans, ponytail, and naturally pretty.

Lil Wayne, looking like a younger Lil Jon, weaving a Benz through traffic on 6th Ave at 30th. Weaved hair, fitted hat, gold gangster grill and all... He was by himself.

Noon, 5/23/6... Just saw Jon Stewart walking through Union Square talking on his cell phone. He was wearing a gray shirt and baseball cap, looking very good! As a PA I wanted to grab him and beg for a Daily Show gig- but as a chick I just wanted to grab him!

I saw Matt Dillon at Balthazar; he smiled at me and is as hot in person as he is on screen. He was with 2 very attractive ladies (what a shock) and was acting nice to everyone.

Paul Giamatti, Pierrepont St., Brooklyn Heights, May 21st at 8:30pm: standing in the doorway of his building with his son, calling to his wife Liz, who was going to a car. He has gotten rid of that scruffy bearded look and is clean-shaven now with a very short haircut, but still retains the black framed glasses.

I saw Malcolm Gladwell of "The Tipping Point" fame tonight around 8 walking at Waverly Pl and W. 10th. His hair gave him away and he looked just as cool as his books.

Saturday, May 20th, around 5pm, I walked right by James Marsden on Prince Street, between Mercer and Greene Street. He was smiling and looking hot in a baseball cap, accompanied by another famous looking guy I couldn't place.

Saw Jeremy Sisto last night at Island Burger (52nd and 9th) at 9 pm Tuesday, sporting quite the wild 'do and 5-a.m.-with-a-hangover stubble. He did indeed look crazy enough to have sex with his sister, though if the sister is Rachel Griffiths, I could get down with that.

Seth Green: 59th street by central park, 2:30pm: He was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses. He was so so short. Was with a girl about 2 inches taller then him, she was very pretty. They were also filming a movie at central park by Columbus Circle. A lot people crowding it, cops and film crew so I couldn't see who the actors were.

This morning at about 8:15am, as I was walking down Central Park West to the subway at Columbus Circle, I saw a woman wearing a hideous mint green gown with a flower pattern on it. She was standing just past the Trump Hotel, right before the subway entrance. At first I thought she was a really tragic bridesmaid, waiting for some Tuesday morning wedding in Central Park. As I got closer, I realized that it was Amy Adams and standing next to her (very close) was Patrick Dempsey. I think he was wearing a dark suit. There didn't seem to be any cameras, film crews or anything else around, but maybe in my early morning haze, I just didn't notice...actually, maybe it was standing that close to Patrick Dempsey that made me notice nothing else but his eyes...and that hideous dress.

Just saw Tate Donovan (1:45pm) on Hudson between Morton & Leroy. Just strolling, no sunglasses, no cell, no one with him. Looked the same as he did on the O.C. season one.

Trey from the OC, aka Ryan's brother who just got out of jail and was killed by Marissa last season, aka Logan Marshall-Green, at Cosi on 31st and Park in the salad line. Looked very bikerish.....jeans, black leather studded jacket and black sunglasses....YUM

I saw Kate Moennig of L Word fame crossing 14th St. at 3rd Ave. on my way to the L this afternoon around 3:30 pm. She looked really (really) thin, but her hair looked good. Slim trousers, hat, maybe a blazer but I am possibly making that last part up because it was pretty warm out. She also looked sort of angry, maybe just in a hurry.

At about 2:45 pm, May 22 on the E train platform at Penn Station, I saw soccer phenom Freddy Adu or his stunt double waiting for the E. 5'6"-5'8" with ipod in tow and Razor in hand. He went on into Queens. I thought he'd take a cab, but hey, he's young and probably slummin' with the rest of us.

Saw the lead singer of the band Dashboard Confessional (Chris Carrabba) at a bar on Hudson just below 11th street in the West Village, looking very much like a emo-punk version of Jughead from Archie Comics, complete with varnished pompadour and tattooed sleeves (missing the crown). He was being photographed and seemed to enjoy pretending like it was 2001 and he was still getting laid.

Just saw Mary Lynn Rajskub, aka Chloe from 24, coming out of one of those scam electronics stores, on 6th and 58th at 2:00pm. Irony at its best.

A beautiful Saturday in New York on the way to the CP Zoo with my kids was nearly ruined by the appearance of one-hit-wonder director Ed Burns. He was looking intentionally scruffy outside of his building on 5th unloading some kid stuff from a Lexus 330. I was horrified that he might be my lone celeb sighting of the day, when thankfully, his wife, the ultimate yummy mummy Christie Turlington, emerged from the car. She's very beautiful and looked great. Just a reminder that there really is no justice in the world.

5.55pm corner of park and 48th. Mort Zuckerman talking on his cellphone and, inexplicably, wearing a plastic badge with his name on it.

Spotted SNL hottie Seth Meyers shaking hands with another young hot guy (couldn't place him) at Sant Ambroeus restaurant in the village. Too bad they were both with ladies.

May 22nd. Saw John McGinley — the wise cracking Dr. Perry Cox who makes Zach Braff's life miserable on the show Scrubs — walking around Union Square market at 5pm with friends (an attractive blonde and another man). He's pretty good looking and has a great body.

I've been kissed by a Gilmore Girl. Just ran into Gramma Emily herself, the regal Kelly Bishop, on the corner of 93rd and Madison. She was very gracious, signed an autograph and pecked my cheek. I'm so happy!

Michael McKean at Film Forum's B Noir double feature showing of Among the Living and The Spiritualist. Left after the first screening. Looked like all nice and regular like.

Just saw Lou Dobbs talking to a salesperson in the Bose store in the Shops at Columbus Circle. Ironically, the salesperson looked to be of Mexican descent and was talking with an accent.

Tuesday, May 23rd, 12:30 pm: I saw Frank Gifford strolling along 5th Avenue near 58th Street. Always the well-dressed gentleman, he was in a blue blazer with an appropriate tie and slacks, carrying a small gift bag. I didn't notice from which store, although he was window shopping at Bergdorf Goodman when I saw him. No sign of Kathie Lee however.

Saw Isaac Mizrahi on Monday 5/22 on the corner of 17th and 5th, being interviewed by a TV crew. Not sure what it was for, but he was dressed casually and wearing a red bandana. My friend was hoping he'd grab her boob, but no such luck.