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· Brad Pitt finds himself the target of the celebrity-infant-safety zealots who have mobilized since Britney Spears' repeated, ostentatious child-endangerment episodes after he was seen taking out daughter Zahara for a helmetless [audible gasp!] bicycle ride in a non-bike-ride-approved baby sling [outraged, uncontrollable vomiting!]. [Rush & Molloy]
· Half of Namibians answering a radio poll think that the day that Angelina Jolie gives birth to the Chosen One should be declared a national holiday. It's not quite as good as a religion centered around the genetically perfect infant, but it still would be a nice thank you for all Brad and Ang have done for their country's tabloid profile. [TheAge.com.au]
· The always-reliable British tabloid press claims that Pitt and Jolie have granted the baby's naming rights to a Namibian chief, an honor he earned by murdering a paparazzi with his bare hands to prove his loyalty and by promising in advance to name the baby "Living Symbol Of Angelina's Committment To Alleviating Third-World Suffering." [Life Style Extra/Bang]
· The AP dares ask the chilling existential question, "What if the world's most eagerly awaited celebrity baby were born, and no paparazzi were there to record it?" Answer: Then that baby does not exist. There, that was easy. [AP]