This image was lost some time after publication.

No arc in the smash hit youth drama Greasy Heirs has captivated audiences more than the Shitfaced Brandon Davis Firecrotch Diatribe A-plot, in which our moist, husky hero learns an important life lesson regarding the dangers of being too forthcoming with one's distaste for carrotbottomed girls. In today's heartwarming, road-to-resolution episode, Davis apologizes to besmirched-landing-strip victim Lindsay Lohan:

Foot-in-mouth rich kid Brandon Davis says he's sorry for his vulgar Lindsay Lohan-bashing tirade in which he joked about her private parts as Paris Hilton laughed her head off. "My behavior on May 16 was inexcusable," Davis says in a statement that sounds like he had some help in writing. "What started out as a joke got completely carried away and I am horrified at the words that came out of my mouth. I consider Lindsay a friend and I hope she accepts my sincere apology for my reprehensible actions last week."

While we can't imagine the words will much sway the courts of public opinion his way, perhaps Davis' "joke getting carried away" defense is worth at least some consideration. As any of the great improvisational comics can tell you, what sometimes starts out as a simple observational riff—say, on the repulsiveness of a "friend's" pubic region—can quickly take on a life of its own. Before you know it, your musings take a turn for the blue, and phrases like, "it fucking smells like diarrhea so fuck off," and "her clitoris is 7-feet long" dance effortlessly off the tongue, fueled by the hysterical cackles of your skank fan club of one.