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This out-of-the-blue email showed up in the inbox today:

A top-earning sales associate at a Manhattan department store was recently sacked. The official reason was sharing the employee discount with a certain customer — the Suspect Spouse of a notable Media Figure. But what sales associate doesn't share their discount with a good customer? They all do it if it means getting the sale. But rumor has it that the real reason for Sharing Shopgirl's exit is that Suspect Spouse was getting more than just a discount and that Media Figure found out, called in a favor from upper management, and Sharing Shopgirl was kicked to the curb.

So many questions here. Is it a male media figure whose wife was engaging in lesbionics with the shopgirl? Is it a female media figure whose husband was diddling the department-store help? What department store? What cheater? And, of course, what media figure? Guesses on all points are welcomed — and especially on that last one.