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Those fashionistas sure are wily, scheduling their big fancy party the day before 6/6/06 — as if missing satan's spring break by a mere day is going to hide the pure, svelte evil of the Council of Fashion Designers of America awards. But we weren't fooled: the devil's hand was everywhere, from Janet Jackson's ersatz breasts to Glenda Bailey's terrifying decolletage; even Jessica Simpson was more whorish than usual. On the bright side, angelic Tommy Hilfiger has a sense of humor.

Oh, and the big winner of the evening was Calvin Klein's shifty-looking designer Francisco Costa, who took home the Womenswear Designer of the Year award, leaving Anna Wintour to go home and cry with her pet Proenza Schouler.

After the jump, an anonymous celebrity stalker gives his red carpet report.

The guests began to slowly trickle in about 6:30PM...

First to arrive was Chloe Sevigny, who seemed to be faring better than when I saw her several weeks ago at the Costume Ball. She started up the stairs to the chorus of "Chloe, Chloe." Right behind her was Amanda Bynes, whose popularity has just soared since she was cast today in Hairspray. Although Chloe Sevigny was still on the Red Carpet all eyes turned towards Amanda Bynes and literally for the next 5 minutes the photographers focused solely on her until her handler guided her up the stairs into the library.

Bee Shaffer and her mother Ms Devil herself showed up.

Then Jeremy Priven arrived, I was surprised he was there because I heard there was an Entourage party on the NYU campus. Maybe he was planning to pick up something from Chloe Sevigny.

Jaime King came in next and the Party was just getting started, then Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Tommy Hilfiger in a Gun's & Roses T-Shirt (later I got a great picture of him in it), then Dita Von Teese showed up solo as I guess her husband Marilyn Manson is busy preparing for today 06/06/06, she looked fabulous in her pasty white make-up and red lipstick. Scarlett Johansson, then Sandra Oh, then the police cleared the sidewalk of any lingering people, stopped traffic on 5th Avenue where a large black van stopped at the curb. We all thought that the rumors were true and Jessica Simpson would pop out at any moment. Ta Da — it was even more of a surprise: Lindsey Lohan and Karl Lagerfeld. They really looked coifed, but the shock was that the two of them were together because I remember a print fight in which LL declared herself the new face of Lagerfeld, and "Chanel designer KARL LAGERFIELD has laughed off singer/actress LINDSAY LOHAN's claims she will front the fashion house's next advertising campaign, insisting she is too immature."

I guess he needed some publicity, Later, they were the first ones to leave in the same over the top manner.

Then the entertainment industry arrives: Harry Connick Jr, who gently brushed aside his driver to open the door for his wife Jill Goodacre. Then Alicia Keyes waving to the fans on both sides of the Red Carpet, Amarie, Rhianna, then out of a big black SUV pops a huge surprise Janet Jackson. I caught a great shot of her fixing her hair in the car window before she started up the Red Carpet to the screams of the many fans who gathered on the sidewalk and at this point began running across the 5th ave towards Ms Jackson. (Ms Jackson signed and posed for photos.)

Another SUV arrived and out popped everyone's favorite gay, Ken Paves, who's been escorting Jessica Simpson around NYC. Jessica then came out in the most awesome white dress. I was overwhelmed by the virginal Ms. Simpson and let out a primal yell to Jessica. Surprisingly she bee lined towards me, completely flustering me as she reached out to shake my hand. I then snapped an excellent photo.

Oh and Puff Daddy Diddy showed up, but isn't he everywhere?

After the party ended Bee Shaefer left with Chloe Sevigny, tripping down the stairs towards their car.