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Us Weekly reports that Endeavor superagent Patrick Whitesell and local anchorbimbo Lauren Sanchez gave birth to their first child today in Santa Monica. "Both mother and child are doing well," reports Us, but makes no mention of the regrettable scene that transpired when the new dad was momentarily overcome by his agent instincts and tried to devour the tantalizingly fresh infant. Once the proud father awakens from his stun-gunning, he'll be allowed to view his son only via a closed circuit television in his holding cell until he can be trusted to be in the same room with the baby.