This image was lost some time after publication.

Valleywag abhors censorship. But it also abhors looking like a [CENSORED] that just [CENSORED]ed two double-D [CENSORED]s. The latest Conference Fonzie report belongs on "The Aristocrats" more than it does on this blog, so enjoy ConFonz's, erm, colorful metaphors as he describes the MI6 Conference.

MI6. Marketing Games Initiative. Who knows what the 6 stands for. Some would say it's a reference to 2006, but more likely, it's an obvious node to the number of pulsating [CENSORED]s that can be stuffed into a single puckered media outlet's [CENSORED]. The games marketing people were all over Moscone earlier this week, and the food vendors and tranny hookers of Soma are still recovering. The event was designed to show off the work of all those hardcore marketing weasels that place ads like the famous "dead blond in a bathtub of blood" Hitman ad of recent months.

Of course, these people could all care less whether the games they're promoting are any good, much the same way that a pimp doesn't really care if his [CENSORED]s are tickling [CENSORED]sacks with aplomb. The event was punctuated with an award ceremony that gave top honors to the Madagascar game's TV campaign. Yikes. The awards were even broken down into categories like "Best Text for a Print Ad," and "Best Endcap Display."

Who the [CENSORED] knew these people got awards? This is akin to giving out prizes for the best [CENSORED]al rapist on the cell block, with a special nod to Pedophile Steve in B23 for coming up with the idea to replace the salad tossing jelly [CENSORED?] with Maple Syrup. Sticky [CENSORED]s all up and down the coast shout "Thanks Steve!" [CENSORED]s the [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED].

Incidentally, no one with any actual talent won any awards at this event. The overall winner was the XBox 360 campaign people, which really just goes to prove that the only factor in winning these awards was the size of your budget [UNCENSORED], not the quality of your drivel.