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Longtime readers of this internet pamphlet know the drill by now: I return from vacation, make up some wild story about the fascinating things I did on my all-too-brief vacation (which usually includes at least one reference to shoddily executed gender reassignment surgery), and then jump right back on the blogging hamster-wheel. Since we're all a little exhausted from our marathon celebration of our Nation's proud support of the illegal fireworks industry, I'll spare you the genital-swapping jokes and get back to work. But no good editor would return from a brief hiatus without a gift, so please accept this thumbnail image of Sarah Michelle Gellar's wedding cake and the entire, unedited press release about various celebrities' extravagant, marriage-related baked goods we found in our inbox this morning. —Mark

Celebrity Wedding Cakes ... From Towers To Planets

While love may be the same old story through time, a white cake is not when love is in the air and cake is on the fingers of celebrities. You decide which one of these confection concoctions takes the cake! The wedding cake tradition goes back to the Roman Empire. Cutting cake together is the first task performed jointly as husband and wife, and feeding each other the first bite is symbolic of the mutual commitment of bride and groom to provide for one another.


Last month, Oscar-winning actress Nicole Kidman and her Grammy-winning groom Keith Urban dished out a raspberry mascarpone cake for their guests in Australia. The fruit filling and white icing dessert was a simple three-tiered wedding cake.

When actress Carmen Electra and musician Dave Navarro got married, their four-tiered cake of Oreo cheesecake, chocolate cake and strawberry shortcake layers was bedecked with Swarovski crystals to match the crystals on her Badgley Mishka wedding gown!

Actor Pierce Brosnan and Keely Shaye Smith's dessert monument was a six-tier carrot cake fashioned after the cake Jacqueline Kennedy served at her wedding to Jack. The cake featured a cascade of orange blossoms, white roses and stephanotis. Keely's mother used the finest sugar to crystallize edible flowers that gave the cake its shimmer.

Actor Michael Douglas and Hollywood beauty Catherine Zeta Jones selected a five-tiered wedding cake that stood 4 feet high and was covered with thousands of edible sugar flowers!

Not to be trumped, real estate mogul Donald Trump and Melania Knauss had a baker construct a 5 foot high 50-pound, seven-tier orange Grand Marnier chiffon cake with a light Grand Marnier butter cream filling. The couple opted not to have the traditional "bride and groom" cake topper but it was topped with 3,000 white-icing roses!

Starry-eyed novelist-actress Vanna Bonta was over the moon with inventor rocket scientist Alan and had a baker deliver out-of-this-world specifications: round planets with detailed surfaces and craters, in chocolate, raspberry, lemon and cream, topped with bride and groom astronauts.

Sarah Michelle Gellar, whose favorite flavor happens to be vanilla, crowned her Freddy Prinze charming ceremony with a four-tier vanilla-on-vanilla-cake, decorated with fresh pink and red roses.

Sabrina star Melissa Joan Hart and rocker Mark Wilkerson celebrated a romantic ceremony in Florence Italy with pistachio cake decorated with purple flowers (when the baker couldn't make the gold flowers they wanted).

Hip-hop artists Nas and Kelis got their gold: gilded in 23 kt gold, a five-tiered wedding cake embellished with sugar roses!

Will there be a cake for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? Is a cake ahoy for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? It might be fun to speculate in any case... Tattooed icing? A cake that does its own stunts?