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[Ed.note—Normally we wouldn't run the Blind Item Guessing Game a day after Ted C. published his item, but it's been too long since we've done one, we are powerless before your cries to hit this installment, and, most crucially, it's a slow Tuesday. Enjoy.] Wherein we invite our readers to wander naked and unashamed through the paradaisical blind item garden lovingly tended by humpy, infinitely benevolent E! gossip-Creator Ted Casablanca and hazard an inevitably incorrect guess as to the identity of this week's secret celebrity subject. This week, Ted turns to two of his favorite recurring characters, Morgan Mayhem and a huge pile of blow. Dip yourself in honey and invite the sweet stings of One Overly Caring Blind Vice:

Ted sez: "We all know bod-goons are paid to protect the overly watched frames of the celebs who employ them. Most times, these bossy gorillas are très busy trying to keep pesky paps away or simply shooing starstruck autograph seekers. Occasionally, these walking barricades even help carry celebs' purses or pups. Too cute! Not this, though: The security staff utilized by one Morgan Mayhem (a repeat offender in the naughty narrative known as the Blind Vice archive) is far more, uh, hands-on. See, Morg's men protect way more than her bitchin' bod. They also keep more than a hawklike eye on her damn drug stash." Read the item.

You say: Send your guesses to tips[AT]defamer.com with "blind" in the subject line, and we'll post the results later today.