Because Fridays are for mindless inanity, meet the Midget Michael Jackson, who moonwalks into the hearts of all 42nd Street commuters. Shut-ins that we are, we've no idea what sort of subterranean urchins are lurking below nowadays, but this little fella seems particularly special. He's so adorable, so perfect — if his face looked just slightly younger, he'd have Jesus Juice forced down his tender throat in no time.