Lindsay Lohan And The Case Of The Heathrow Hermès Heist
Just as the scales of party-whorelet media coverage threatened to tip too deeply in Paris Hilton's favor with reports of the heiress' untimely rendezvous with a salt-rimmed Breathalyzer, who should come trotting along with her own headline-grabbing police matter but Hilton's strawberry-patched nemesis, Lindsay Lohan, whom TMZ says is inconsolably distraught after a handbag allegedly containing $1 million in jewelry was reported stolen off her luggage cart at Heathrow Airport:
Scotland Yard tells TMZ a "theft of a bag at Heathrow Airport was reported to police by a 20-year-old woman."
They continue to say "it is alleged that as the woman exited the Terminal One building, she noticed that an orange Hermès handbag was missing from her suitcase trolley." The bag, according to police, contained "a quantity of jewelry."
Lindsay's rep, Leslie Sloane, confirms to TMZ the theft occurred and that Lindsay is extremely upset about the loss of personal belongings. "She is begging for the return of the items," Sloane says. "She doesn't care how she gets them back, she just wants her stuff back." [...]
[A] source close to the case indicates it may be worth over $1 million.
With no leads to speak of, and thousands of travelers passing through the London airport daily on their way to far flung corners of the globe, we'd say a recovery of the pilfered handbag or the priceless contents within doesn't look very promising. Scotland Yard is a fine police force who pride themselves on always solving the crime, however, even if that means hundreds of flight delays and cancellations as every traveler fitting the profile of "potential jewelry wearer" is required to submit themselves to full body cavity searches, as a vengeful Lohan watches unblinking from behind a mirrored glass partition. Failing that, there's always Plan B: checking to see if one has popped up on eBay.
