Friday:

• Thomas Onorato, reputable doorbitch and Confessions from the Velvet Ropes co-author, "previously" partied with hipsters and publicists in Chelsea. Tonight those same hipsters and publicists flock to the Astor Place Barnes & Noble as the doorman dishes about parties he prevented them from attending. [B&N]
• The few media flacks who were not invited to attend an advance screening of Sherrybaby succumb to commoner status and shell out $10.95 for 96 minutes of a "fiercely sympathetic, but laudable" Maggie Gyllenhaal. [flavorpill]

Saturday

• The Guinness-sponsored Riverside Park Oyster Festival contains "freshly shucked oysters, perfect pints of Guinness" and a couple of bands that were probably paid via a lifetime supply of the aforementioned. Go get drunk outside while you still can. [MurphGuide]

Sunday
 • Mingle with Governor Pataki and former Jets players at one of three bars - Barfly, Jeremy's Ale House, and The Wicked Monk - hosting viewing parties for the Jets/Titans game. Raffle prizes include sports memorabilia autographed by Derek Jeter and other athletes with equally attractive, younger arm candy. Proceeds benefit the World Trade Center Memorial. [BtM]
• Void magazine and Two Dollar Radio celebrate International Literacy Weekend with GET LIT, a free concert featuring local hip hop artists, indie rock bands and a reading. Something for everyone, etc. [Void]