Corpsegate: Miami: OK, Now You've Got To Be Shitting Us
Back on Wednesday, we were finally willing to be convinced that an actual human corpse turning up at a CSI: NY shoot in downtown L.A. was just an eerie coincidence, after a brief but enjoyable dalliance with a conspiracy theory that the whole thing was nothing more than a PR stunt. But now we're once again finding ourselves suspicious that master TV manipulator Jerry Bruckheimer really will feed us the same story over and over again until we finally stop tuning in, as another dead body has found its way to a different CSI franchise's set:
A man's body floated up near where a crew was filming a scene for the crime show "CSI: Miami," authorities said. The body washed up early Friday in Biscayne Bay at Bicentennial Park, which film crews were using as a helicopter staging ground for aerial shots of a fictional offshore investigation for the CBS show, police said.
A homeless man spotted the body and alerted an off-duty police officer who was working security on the set, police said. The body had no signs of injury, and the death was not considered suspicious, according to authorities.
"Unfortunately, it's not unusual during certain times of the year that people who have fallen in the bay, either homeless or people who were asleep or in some cases boaters who had a mishap, fall into the bay and turn up days later, said Detective Delrish Moss, a Miami police spokesman.
We don't even need to tell you that the new season of CSI: Miami premieres tonight, do we? It's too late for his Floridian victim, but now that he's clearly established an identifiable pattern of promotional homicides, we urge Bruckheimer's immediate apprehension; there's still time to prevent tomorrow night's planned mass slaying of a dozen high-priced escorts, whose freshly murdered bodies will be "accidentally" discovered in a Bellagio suite just in time for the first Fall broadcast of the original CSI series on Thursday.