Hasselhoff Suicide Shocker: The Cat Did It
The plot thickens! Or at least gets marginally more tawdry. The alleged suicide attempt by David Hasselhoff's 14-year-old daughter Haley may have been just a misappropriated act of micro-violence. Specifically, Hasselhoff's estranged ex Pamela Bach claims that the cut Haley received was just the result of a cat scratch, an incident that Hasselhoff is attempting to manipulate from molehill to mountain by making the phony suicide call. Hasselhoff disagrees, claiming he didn't mention suicide on the call, "but his publicist says the 911 operator may have interpreted it that way." Perhaps the animal was merely attempting an assisted suicide, which is nevertheless still illegal, even for a cat. David has always struck us as more of a wrinkly dog man, anyway.
