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Dallas fans who couldn't wait to see John Travolta attempt to cram 20 gallons of bloated cranium into J.R. Ewing's 10-gallon hat are in for a crushing disappointment, as New Regency's movie adaptation has been shelved until the studio can figure out what the hell to do now that every member of the cast but Travolta (even J.Lo!) realized it's going to be a fiasco and went running for the hills. [Variety]
· Roger Ebert's Chicago Sun-Times review for The Queen is his first published since he checked into the hospital for salivary cancer treatment back in June. He hopes to return to his TV show at the beginning of the year, where he will retake his rightful place demonstrating what a pinhead Richard Roeper is on a weekly basis. [THR]
China suspends the premieres of Miami Vice, World Trade Center, and, potentially, Casino Royale to clear room for the propaganda films scheduled for—and we're not making this up—"October Golden Autumn Excellent Domestic Film Exhibition Month." [Variety]
Ted Harbert, president of E! Networks, has been promoted to president and CEO of Comcast Entertainment Group, which will add overseeing G4 to his responsibilities. We are as exactly as excited as you are about this thrilling announcement concerning the corporate streamlining of basic cable network operations. [THR]
Weinstein-owned Genius Products picks up the North American rights to Dirty Sanchez: The Movie—the Welsh version of Jackass, not the sex tape featuring Screech's last ditch attempt to salvage something of career by painting a scatstache on some poor escort's upper lip. [Variety]