Blue States Lose: The Hipster Mash!
It's Friday and Halloween is finally - finally - fucking over. But there's always time for a last look back at how the twatwaffle hipster contingent celebrated the event. Bring on Blue States Lose, where we cast an occluded eye on The Cobrasnake, Last Night’s Party, Misshapes, and Ambrel. After the jump, Alex Blagg scares up some scenesters.
This week's installment of Blue States Lose has been brought to you by Halloween, ill-conceived costumes, and this fucking guy.
10. Misshapes. October 28th, 2006 photo #6331: Wow, I never thought anyone could be scarier than uber-badass Brandon Flowers, but this killer sends chills down my spine like summer in the tropics. Also, why didn't anyone tell me Ultragrrrl dyed her hair black?
9. Misshapes. Misshapes photo #032: Woah, speaking of scary - this is almost as terrifying as kittens wrapped in cotton sliding down a cartoon rainbow. Even the little marshmallow ghosts on his shirt are booing him for being such a fucking pussy. Also, if you really want "a tip", hows about you never making this expression again?
8. Ambrel. Nick Denton's Party photo #8513: Ha, we get it. You're trying to make it easier for all the people you're willing to fuck for a little publicity. Though something tells me the kind of twatwaffles that would actually entertain your abject fame-whoring wouldn't be needing the "Magnum" size.
7. The Cobrasnake. Campfire Bandit photo #0945: Sorry holmes, but dressing up as yourself from last weekend makes for a pretty weak costume.
6. Last Night's Party. Hallow PG photo #1113: FINALLY one of the more environmentally conscious hiptards has figured out a way to actually recycle retardation by sending the words that come from their mouth right back into their brain.
5. The Cobrasnake. Sheet Ghost photo #6461: Heyyy, I'd recognize those big retarded peepers just about anywhere! Let's have another round of "Quotable Cory": Halloween Edition! Try to identify which of the following semi-sentences was NOT taken from the blog of Cory the Fugly Ghost. Answer's at the end:
a) "then at element tofer grace kept tryin to whisper in my ear. i think he wuz high or thought i wuz somebody else. hes like zool something. whatever. ughhhhh."
b) "trev trev was there too. michael fenton met up with us there and then we left to go to privilege to go to hiedi klums party. she was eve and the apple as well, and seal was adam...."
c) "mark and my mommy took me to school. im at school and mark texts me saying im in page six. im really confused. for what? huh. im seriously lost. so pa never told me about his little interview with page six."
d) "teddys was interesting i got to know brandon davis. hes really not what the press makes him out to be. i like him as a person. michael and i left and ran away from the pap. "
4. The Cobrasnake. Sparks Fo Tuna Salsa photo #8133: Listen, guy. I don't care if it's Halloween, your birthday AND the end of time, you have absolutely no business wearing spandex.
3. The Cobrasnake. Super Duper Cinespace photo #1509: And now a Blue States Loses Public Service Announcement: Don't drink and drive, lest you end up standing on the side of the road next to your father's totaled Acura, in your underwear, looking like the dumb whore everybody always said you were.
2. The Cobrasnake. Horrors of the Sea photo #7839: Really? Again? What, was the Cliche Costumes Store all out of Borat swimsuits or something?
1. Misshapes. October 28th, 2006 photo #044: And this year's award for best costume goes to our boy Kid's Meal, who pulled out all the stops and showed up as Morla the Swamp Tortoise from Neverending Story!
*It's A!