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You know cockney rhyming slang, that stuff that makes Madonna's husband's movies 25% more incomprehensible? We think it's kind of awesome. In fact, we wish Americans walked around saying "Claire Rayners" instead of "trainers" and "Wallace and Gromit" instead of "vomit." Except, what's a Claire Rayners? For that matter, what's a trainers? Okay, we know it means sneakers. But you get our point: Americans need a rhyming slang lexicon of their own. The way you do it, according to this Guardian article, is use the name of a celebrity interchangeably with a random word that rhymes with it. Ex: "I'm going down the pub to grab some Britney Spears." But, you know, less lame than that, and better if the celebrity actually has something to do with the word they're standing in for.
Here are some to get you started:
"I wanted to get really wasted but still remain upright and conscious, so I took some Tara Reid. I know that's really old school, but no one had any coke or Adderall."
"I ate some chili, and all night I was Mischa Barton."
 Okay, now you try.