Freeman's He-Man Woman Haters No Metrosexual Dickfaces Club
The Observer draws aside the curtain on an important budding trend-thing today, going (literally!) underground to document a secret society of rugged dudes who are affiliated with downtown aritchoke-dip'n'taxidermy mecca Freeman's. Here's the deal: there's a club underneath the store associated with the restaurant where men can shoot arrows, ride a bike, and even drink beer. But that's not the only revolutionary thing about the club. The men also engage in other traditional masculine rituals — for example, they "talk about some concepts of the modern day and where everybody's headed and what the current trends are." (Hint: taxidermy, facial hair, pretentious faux-outdoorsiness).
Wait! Maybe we're being unfair. "It's just like not being all those fucking metrosexual dickfaces," said F.S.C. member Jack Dakin. "It's an awesome thing. It's just a bunch of people who hang out and chill, but then we actually do stuff." Okay! Like what kind of stuff, though?
"Fuck trying to be cool and trying to get into the back of BlackBook. Let's go shooting!"
Hmm. Would a real non-metrosexual dickface even know about the back of BlackBook? You have one more chance to convince us, dudes. Could you explain again that you're not trying to be cool, and could you also please describe the stuff? That you, you know, do?
"This really isn't about 'Hey man, we're cool—we hang out in the Lower East Side and have an archery range,'" said Mr. Brown. "We're just trying to do stuff .... It's like in order to go to the shooting club in Chinatown, you have to not go to Max Fish, you know."
Right about now, 1/2 of us have never been happier to be a woman.
