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We've always found ourselves with a lot of burning questions about Tori "Dad Cast Me on 90210 And I Am Somehow Still Famous" Spelling's inner life, so it was with joy and satisfaction and not a little bit of relief that we learned we would soon be able to get the answers straight from her horsey mouth. That's right: the So NoTorious star is penning a memoir, to be published in 2008 by Simon "He's Just Not That Into You, And Some Other Books" Spotlight Entertainment. Now, some might disagree with us that Tori has a story to tell, but USA Today begs to differ:

As an adult she has weathered a failed marriage, an estrangement from her mother, Candy, and the loss of her father in June, followed by disappointing news in his will."

Gee, could the book sale be part of an attempt to recoup those lost millions? Well, according to Tori, she hopes that the book "will do amazing, and we'll all see a lot of profits." However, we see on Publisher's Marketplace that the book sold "in a pre-empt," which often means there was no auction because there was only one house willing to bid. How many diapers/hours of tattooing for Dean McDermott will Tori's advance buy, dear readers? We're guessing not too many, but we'd still like you to tell us.

Spelling to Put Life Into Words For 'Memoir' [USA Today]