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Remember Tina Marino, the Hawaiian Tropic Zone waitress who dished about the downsides of her plasticy job? Well, today the Observer brings us another dispatch from that den of sanitized sin, sending an intrepid reporter to ask the tough questions about what goes on in the HTZ subsidized housing, where the girls live together to find out what happens when boobs stop being real, and start getting fake. So, the reporter asked, is it sooo much fun in the dorms? "We have slumber parties and popcorn parties. We all get along really well," enthused one concierge. Uh huh! Seems like she's trotting out the HTZ pageant-y party line. Yawn.

But wait — maybe she's actually a dangerous dissident.

According to the Zone's scary general manager,

These are not dorms, they're apartments. And there are no sleepovers allowed. Listen, we don't want to have to pull all our ads in The Observer because you're asking stupid questions."

Oooh, scary!

He went on to explain that there are also some hard-and-fast rules in the Hawaiian Tropic apartments: No boys after midnight. No smoking. No drugs. And their rooms must be spic-and-span at all times."

We are appalled by the fascist infantilization of these women. And also, by the fact that this awesome cross between Starting Over and Top Model is not being televised. Can no one rectify this injustice??

Pillow Fight [NYO]
Earlier: Newsflash: Hawaiian Tropic Zone Waitress Gets Hit On 'All The Time'