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Hanging out (in all senses) with Mother of the Year Britney Spears has taught Paris about the joys of mommyhood — and now she's telling anyone who will listen that she wants to have four babies by the time she's 30, citing her experience 'caring for' her puppies, kittens and kinkajous as relevant to childrearing. Fuck making a joke about this. Here's a joke: Paris Hilton. Hahaha. [The Scoop]
Speaking of the Mother of the Year, she's apparently being investigated by the LA Dept. of Children and Family Services. [Page Six]
Good news: finally, cops are going to ask Pete Doherty about something other than drugs! Bad news: they're asking about the mysterious death of an actor who fought with Doherty at a party shortly before biting it! [The Sun]
Is Beyonce Knowles lying about her age? We think probably not, but there's a piece of paper that seems to indicate that she's actually 32!! [MediaTakeOut]
Non-heiress Tori Spelling is shamelessly selling all of her shit, including "antique & vintage items from the 19th, 20th, & 21st centuries!" [Sharon Yost via Dlisted]
Kevin Federline's people were so impressed that he wore a jacket, they sent out a press release about it. Well, it wasn't just any jacket — it was "a fabulous well-stated sport jacket with open collar shirt." So yeah, that's newsworthy. [TMZ]
Calling New York City "the city that obviously took a lot of Lunesta" (nice one! but we're still confused about the broom), Amy Sacco admits that she might sell Bung 8. [NYO]
