Crossing the Line: Confessions of a Bareback Top Speaks ... Out of His Ass
Yesterday, we directed you to the sexploits of Confessions of a Bareback Top, a blogger who writes, in excruciating detail, about his unsafe hookups with other men, including one in that temple of all that is holy on the Upper East Side, Barneys. Our usually unflappable readers were duly flapped about his graphic descriptions of the sex he's been having all around town, so we decided, as a public service, to get in touch with Mr. Top to find out exactly what makes him tick. Unsurprisingly, the responses we got to our questions were ... Well, let's just say that the easily offended and/or under 18 should probably not click through to the jump, as there's more NSFW gabbery there (though no photos, sorry!) than we've ever posted. Ever.
Why'd you start the site? Is this your first blog? (It started in October, right?)
I started it mainly out of interest of keeping track of those people I have sex with. I am in my early 20s and its really quite unbelievable how many people 18-25 will have unprotected sex with someone who says they are "safe only." Dont get me wrong, I enjoy it, but remember - it takes two.
This is not my first blog, but it is the one that gets the most of my attention as of late.
And yes, it was sometime in October that I started it.
What has the response been?
For the most part I get replies from guys who are really into it. They get off on it. Sometimes stories like this can be played out into their imagination and they can release those thoughts by experiencing what I am writing - rather than actually going and doing it. There are other guys who are just fans - and some who like my writing...
And there are others who are not so into it. They post mean things like how they hope I die of AIDS and that I am a walking CDC petri dish. And thats all fine - it comes with the territory. But I want to reiterate that with the exception of one incident, all of my partners knew that we were going to have sex without a condom. Each and every one of them. Safe sex was discussed - but not followed through with. As I said, it takes two. (That is, with the exception of my post "The Boyfriend" where he did not know we were having unprotected sex.)
How many hits do you get per day?
I get many comments - mostly when I post a new story...but I moderate the comments because lots of people are dying to know what I look like, where I live, what I do...etc. I also field the negative ones because, guess what? Someone may have an opinion, but its my blog - so I will use MY blog the way I see fit.
In the spectrum of gay hookup blogs, where does yours fall in explicitness?
I think mine is not the most graphic - but its very high up in controversy. I am very old fashioned when it comes to sex. Kissing, some oral, and I stick it in. Some guys are into water sports (pissing), feltching (eating cum once it has been ejected into an ass), etc. I dont do that. None of that turns me on. But in level of controversy, this is pretty serious. I am online as a "SAFE ONLY" guy and I then try to fuck UNSAFE. Its serious to then write about each experience...the risk of getting caught is very high.
Do you get off on posting the stories of your hookups?
Not at all. Once I have sex - I write about it - and the experience is complete. Other guys get off on my blog big time. I get thank you notes - notes of how I need to keep it up because guys jerk off while reading it, etc. As I said before - its a way for guys who dont have unprotected sex to get off on it.
Do most of your hookups know about your blog?
None of them do. I try my hardest for them NOT to know. Currently, there are 2 people that I have TOLD I am the author - and 2 others have guessed. I have not confirmed if I am or not to the two that guessed.
Has anyone ever tried to take a photo of you? Are you worried about being outed (as a bareback)?
People have asked to see my photo. In the beginning, I sent my photo out to maybe 3-4 people but regretted it! Now, I dont send my photo - ever. There are many guys who email me and want to meet up and have sex with me without even SEEING my photo. The problem is then that they know me - they can identify me - and thats not good.
I am very worried about being outed as a "barebacker" because it has such a horrible stigmatism attached to it. Look at the comments posted on Gawker alone - nothing but bashing, etc. The funny thing is that most of my hook ups have bareback sex. That is the reality. This summer I had bareback sex with 2 guys who were notable "safe sex" advocates. So, again, it takes two.
Is everything real? I mean, that Barneys thing ... Whoa.
Everything is real. Names and locations might be changed to hide identities...but I try to make every detail accurate. If there is something I am not 100% sure about, I omit it. I look at it this way - if you lie once, who's to say you arent lying always.
As for Barney's, the location may or may not be correct (I cant confirm or deny) - but I assure you, it did take place.
What else would you like our esteemed readers, most of whom were shocked and appalled by your blog, to know?
I am not this sick diseased monster that I am being assumed to be. I have a sexual preference and that preference is to have sex without a condom. Sure, there is MAJOR risk in that - life threatening risk. But the same goes for smoking.
A lot of people say, "Well, you are putting two people at risk." That is not accurate. When I have sex, the other person knows what is going on. I have consensual "bareback" sex with people. There was one instance where that was not the case - and I accept any consequences.
Oh, and if you dont like my blog, dont read it.
[Sic, of course, to all of the above. —Ed.]
