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Even after spending countless hours yesterday completely immersing ourselves in the virtual reality of local news outlet KABC 7's RichieTracker7000 , we were unable to fully inhabit Nicole Richie's consciousness and formulate a plausible excuse for why she ingested Vicodin and marijuana before embarking on her wrong-way trip on the 134, coming back again and again only to our own reasons for mixing prescription narcotics with recreational drugs: to temporarily blunt the pain of our sad existence. Us Weekly now releases us from the torment of trying to put aside our own problems long enough to puzzle through why Richie popped that fateful pill, reporting that "she's telling friends" (who, we're sure, have no connection to either her publicity or legal teams) that she "occasionally" Vikes up because of menstrual cramps. And in a truly helpful bit of unnamed pal-chatter, the Us source further claims that Richie is upset at the police department's underreporting of her weight by ten pounds; replacing the lost body mass she's "proud" to have supposedly gained over the last two months bumps her up to a meatier, seemingly eating-disorder-free 95 lbs, a level at which she can probably sustain the cramp-inducing menstrual functions she treats with that Vicodin. Well played, anonymous friends who demonstrate enviable PR savvy!