Inside the Jewish Cabal Against Judith Regan

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Emily Gould

12/19/06 08:30AM

Filed to: Judith Regan

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Yesterday we learned that, contrary to all of our assumptions, Judith Regan's offensive comments during her last-straw phone call with HarperCollins lawyer Mark Jackson were anti-Semitic, not cock-size related. Today in the Times, Jackson accuses Regan of saying, "Of all people, the Jews should know about ganging up, finding common enemies and telling the big lie," and of saying that Jackson, ICM lit agent Esther Newberg, HarperCollins' executive editor (and Deadspin soccer columnist!) David Hirshey and HarperCollins' president Jane Friedman "constitute a Jewish cabal against her."

However, Regan lawyer Bert Fields reminds us once again why anti-Semites hire Jewish lawyers. Not only does he deny that Regan said "Jewish cabal," he also asserts that he wouldn't have been offended if she had. "I want to make it clear that had she said it, even that is not an anti-Semitic remark," he said. "Had she said it, I wouldn't be offended, as a Jew." Speak for yourself, Bert! Maybe the rest of the cabal isn't as replete with self-hatred as you are!

Oh, wait: of course they are, they're Jews.

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Alfonso X. Alfonse Emily Gould 12/19/06 11:52AM

Also, that was a sort-of sarcastic rejoinder on how everyone's a little bit racist. And on how everyone's got a cabal. Jews included. The Jewish cabal is just flabbier, and with more fried potatoes. The Italian cabal all smell like wine and garlic.

SpyMagician Emily Gould 12/19/06 09:34AM

If there's a Jewish cabal, how come I was—at the age of 15—fired from my job as a counter guy at a Knish store for not knowing how to properly mop the floor.

A true mensch would have shown me the proper way to sling that mop.

I saw there is a cabal of those who can mop against those who cannot mop.

toonces Emily Gould 12/19/06 12:06PM

jr is 1/2 sicilian (they like to differentiate from being 'italian' for whatever lame ass reason), and 1/2 irish. of course, add the slash - American to that.

the cabal can come but paddy o'sullivan from county Cork will kick their asses. Oh wait, Ireland doesn't get funding from the States, so scratch that.

Alfonso X. Alfonse Emily Gould 12/19/06 08:46AM

GAWD lady. You're such a fucking racist. It's not a cabal, we're just a large community of Jewish professionals, some at very high levels of our respective industries, who look out for each other and give each other preferential business treatment.

And you call that a fucking cabal? If you keep this up, I'm going to go see my Italian friend Vinny. What? Not scared? Everyone knows all those fucking wops are in the mob. What?