Yawn: Jessica Simpson and John Mayer trot out their promotional stuntlationship for an encore. Not-yawn: "By the way, John, you might want to have a word with your posse: That party guest your friend asked about buying drugs was a Daily News reporter." [Gatecrasher]
Those arched brows, that ruddy complexion, that alcoholism — Dina Lohan, are you sure you and Bill O'Reilly didn't have a one-night stand in, oh, November of 1985? [Fitted Sweats]
Tiger Woods putted a fetus into his wife's uterus. [CBS SportsLine]
Speaking of tacky, Rachel Zoe is appearing in Samsung ads that tout a "slimmer" cell phone. [NYMag]
Paris, as you've no doubt heard, stiffs waitresses. Not in the porny way. [The Age]
Michael Jordan and wife Juanita will divorce. [AP]
Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson have finally reached a divorce settlement. Who'd have thought he'd be the one who got custody of the 'having a career'? [UsWeekly]
