Blue States Lose: The Second Coming
It's a balmy Friday afternoon, and the perfect time to take a look at the people who fear to venture out in this weather lest their carefully applied jackass makeup wash off. We speak of the hipsters who populate the pages of The Cobrasnake, Last Night's Party, Misshapes, Steve Aoki's Fucking Blog, and Ambrel.
After the jump, Alex Blagg takes one for the team and gives a few back.
10.Misshapes. December 31st, 2006 photo #150: The countdown is starting, now where the fuck is Kid's Meal!?!
9. Ambrel. Motherfucker: New Year's Eve photo #3913: Listen, just because you can't be Jared Leto doesn't mean you can't be the guy who WANTS to be Jared Leto. It's almost as cool.
8. Ambrel. Motherfucker: New Year's Eve photo #3737: How can you not admire moments like these? They're like, "It's New Years, we just met, the clock's striking midnight, and there's a weird androgynous Robert Smith impersonator in a sequined shirt masturbating over there. Let's make the fuck out."
7. The Cobrasnake. Indian Casino photo #0375: This year, I resolve to not be such a fucking cliche. To take the pin off my blazer. To buy clothing that is not used t-shirts. To lose the wacky attention-grabbing glasses. To stop looking like I'm going to come in my pants every time some douche in a headband takes my picture. This year, I'll do it.
6. The Cobrasnake. Bloody Science photo #0703: I can already tell - 2007's gonna be a great year for this guy.
5. Steve Aoki's Fucking Blog. Masturbatory Interview w/ "The DL": Man, if you guys aren't following all the hip 'n happenin' shit going down on AOL's totally underground dope new blog "Spinner", you're really missing out. Take this one-on-one video interview with Steve Aoki, for example - how else would we have ever come to know that, a) "DJ Kid Millionaire" is, like, a joke name (cause he's totally not), b) he DJ's like, a lot, and c) he's had his picture taken with Lindsay Lohan. Also, if I'm not mistaken, this is his third straight blog to include photographic evidence that he knows Lohan. We've got it, Steve. Way to go.
4. Ambrel. Motherfucker: New Year's Eve photo #3726: After an embarssing sexual encounter with Molly Ringwald on prom night, Duckie moved to Manhattan, decided he was bi, became a famous pastry designer, and got addicted to heroin. He's six months clean now (mostly) and just happy to be here.
3. The Cobrasnake. Bloody Science photo #0499: Here's a drunk chick pissing on a fence.
2. Misshapes. December 31st, 2006 photo #032: Hark the heralds, for at the stroke of midnight, just as the gospels had prophesied, this new year brought with it the triumphant Second Coming of Blackface Jesus. Rejoice one and all, for the hipture is upon us!
1. Ambrel. Motherfucker: New Year's Eve photo #3777: Would you look at that fucking mouth of hers? That mouth shouldn't be here. That mouth should be growing on some kind of exotic semi-extinct vine plant in an underground cave guarded by magical pygmies in the Amazon Rainforest.
