Looking At The Look Book: Vincent Oshin is NOT a Sneaker Fanatic
Sure, he may shop at "Clientele, a premier sneaker shop," but is transplanted East Londoner Vincent Oshin a "fanatic?"
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Well, that answers that question! Unfortunately, this Look Book left a bunch of other questions unanswered; that's why Intern Alexis turned to Bennett Madison, Julie Klausner, and Michelle Collins to fill in the blanks. After the jump, we learn more about Vincent, sneakers, and Prospect Heights than we'd ever imagined we could contain in our little heads.
Bennett Madison, Children's Novelist
Describe Vincent's mouth.
Vincent's mouth was designed by his wife for her CORA line of
accessories, which debuts in January. It is made out of felt, cotton
balls, and colorful thread, and is decorated with a "jelly roll" pen.
He's hiding it with his Indian scarf because they are still working on
a marketing strategy for their handcrafted mouths.
What does "class" smell like?
The smell of class is the smell of an anonymous handjob in the
dressing room of DAFFY'S. (DAFFY JO is the name of this scent.)
Vincent is pretty much too good to be true. So what's his fatal flaw?
He has a mangina dentata.
Julie Klausner, Comedian/ Actor/ Writer
Describe Vincent's mouth.
He may as well be wearing an actual red flag around that maw, because
Vincent's mouth is probably a mess. Its Creator probably balled up a
mass of teeth, gums, and tongue and pitched the whole gooey wad
against a brick wall. If he has a goatee, it could have made an
appearance in the old Spy magazine's "Separated at Birth?" feature,
next to Whoopi Goldberg's gooch. Again, this is just speculation.
Maybe it looks like a scarf.
What does "class" smell like?
Prospect Heights, apparently. You know; lattes and soggy diapers. And
mediocrity.
Vincent is pretty much too good to be true. So what's his fatal flaw?
Well, he's married to a milliner. And that's un-ignorable, considering
the history of mental illness in that profession, and their obsessive
affinity for tea (also, see "Prospect Heights). I suspect he must be
as bats as the missus, so it's a good thing they didn't ask him about
his undergarments. This man has an excellent chance of being a moonbat
wearing skivvies made of cold cuts.
Michelle Collins, Comedian and Blogger, BWE.tv
Describe Vincent's mouth.
The mouth of Effie in Dreamgirls after Curtis Taylor Jr. throws
her out of the group and she nearly drinks herself to death. Supple,
pillowy,
glossed... basically, the mouth of screen siren Jennifer Hudson.
What does "class" smell like?
Helmut Lang's taint.
Vincent is pretty much too good to be true. So what's his fatal flaw?
Denial. Skidmarks. And hates assplay.
