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While we're still awaiting an official press release announcing president Gail Berman's departure from Paramount, Var has pulled the trigger on an ankling-invoking headline, citing "several studio insiders" who claim that Berman submitted her resignation around noon. An operative within Brad Grey's fortified Melrose lot walls tells us that chatterers think co-president of production Brad Weston will replace her, but we wouldn't be that surprised to discover that Grey, overwhelmed by the pressure of choosing a successor, wandered into the lot's Water Tower Cafe and offered the position to the guy making his banana-and-strawberry Smoothie.

UPDATE: The LA Weekly's Nikki Finke says that the job's not being filled and that Berman isn't getting a "sorry it didn't work out" production deal.

[Photo: Berman and Paramount Vantage's John Lesher in huggier times, via Getty Images]