This image was lost some time after publication.

When NBC's censors approved the following lyrics to air on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, sung by a new character called the "homophobic country-western singer," they couldn't possibly have anticipated any kind of outrage from Christian groups who think that television is nothing but a Godless, flickering hellbox that beams the will of Mephistopheles directly into America's living rooms: "Oh I love you Jesus/But only as a friend./ You touched my heart but I hope/ That's where the touchin' ends. You're always lookin' over me/ When I need a higher power./ But you better look at somethin' else/ When I'm in the shower." But before the singing cowboy's final note had stopped ringing, an organization called Life Decision International was already cc'ing NBC executives on a press release decrying the show's musical reference to an unacceptably pervy Jesus:

"We wonder if O'Brien's description of the character as a 'complete idiot' is based on the man's 'homophobic' beliefs or if it is because of the inference that Jesus could be sexually interested in seeing the man naked," Scott said. "I don't know if the man is a complete idiot, but I do suspect that the writer of the segment is a complete bigot." [...]

Scott has written a letter to Kevin Reilly, president of NBC Entertainment, objecting to the airing of this material. "I notice the song was not about a Rabbi. I notice the song was not about Buddha. I notice the song was not about Muhammad. If it had been about any of these, the network would surely have disallowed the airing of such garbage," Scott said in the letter. "But since the song was about Jesus Christ, nothing was done." Scott's letter was copied to Mr. Robert C. Wright, chairman & CEO of NBC Universal, which owns NBC Entertainment, as well as Jeffrey R. Immelt, chairman & CEO of General Electric, which owns NBC Universal.

While it's too late to do anything about the song that's already aired, the wording of the statement makes it seems like the offended LDI could be placated if the show would dedicate some time to blaspheming some other religions. In the interest of fostering an ecumenical spirit of equal-opportunity offense, Reilly should suggest that Conan's next "new characters" sketch introduce the Rabbi Who Loves Water Sports and Handsy Buddha, just so that the touchy Christians don't think they're being unfairly picked on.