The news that Alex Kuczynski's being sued by a doctor she allegedly libeled in her Beauty Junkies tome brought forth this missive from a former New York Observer intern, who had the good fortune to be employed there at the same time as the Kucz. We say good fortune, because honestly, you can't get this kind of fashion advice from just anyone:

When I was a senior in high school, I interned twice a week at the Observer, and one of my main duties was opening Alex Kuczynski's mail. This was brown curly-haired, pre-plastic surgery Alex. Anyway, she wasn't any less of a bitch. As I'm sitting there, opening her mail one afternoon, she walks over and exclaims "Do your pants have a zipper up the back??" They did. "Uh, yes..." She walked away, cackling to herself. WTF dude. I was 17. They were my internship pants. Black pinstripes and I probably got them at Marshalls for $15 but whatevs, at least I made the effort not to wear jeans. The pain is still there.

We'll reserve judgment on the appropriateness of ass-zippers for the moment to ask: Any pre-plastic surgery shots of Alex floating around out there? If you've got one, please do send over, stat.