As the noted intellectual Heidi Julavits once put it,

For those who suffer a little pooch around the eye area, there's the ''instant face-lift'' ponytail, which involves pulling the side hair along the ears back tightly (really tightly).

Ahh, that's our Beauty Junkie. Even as a Barnard student in 1990, she was already figuring out ways to iron out her imperfections.

Skin Deep; With Little Effort, The Ponytail Can Be A Symbol of Glam [NYT]

Earlier: Alex Kuczynski's Bitchery Has Long, Storied Past