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Hoping to keep their conference from devolving into a starfucker-riddled orgy of swag suites attended by people who sneer,"What's the best Third World microlending panel I've seen this year? Are you fucking kidding? I'm just here for the parties," organizers of this year's World Economic Forum in Davos are eschewing the participation of the Hollywood do-gooders whose attendance often overshadowed the substance of the 2006 event:

Davos also says it is shunning Hollywood celebrities, even though they have lent this sober event a dash of sex appeal. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, who stopped moguls and ministers in their tracks last year, will not be here, leaving Bono, the Irish rock star who has assumed a statesman's mantle, to twinkle on his own.

"We noticed there was undue publicity given to the attendance of those celebrities at the last meeting," [Davos organizer Klaus] Schwab said. "We have to be careful that we are not hijacked by the celebrity world."

After being assured that the NY Times reporter's tape recorder had been switched off, Schwab sighed, then candidly offered, "Look, we tried to get Angelina, OK? But at the last minute, she decided she's saving New Orleans this year. Left us high and dry. I never thought I'd say this, but now I know how Jennifer Aniston felt when she found out Brad was banging her in his trailer on Mr. and Mrs. Smith. It hurts to be betrayed like that, it really, really does."

[Photo: Getty Images]