We apologize for bringing you the analysis of the Kucz's Critical Shopper column about a shop in DUMBO from today's edition of Thursgay Styles, but there was just so much in it that it took us all day to properly mine. For one, we love how she oh-so-casually reminds us that when it comes down to it, the Kucz is not like you and me:

On the thoroughfare below, a hardware store stands near a glossy West Elm outpost. On Front Street, a deli with fluorescent lights is not far from a high-end organic grocery store on Adams Street called Foragers Market. It's safe to say the only foraging going on in Foragers is the search for the American Express platinum card at the bottom of one's handbag.

Yes, that really is a problem. You'd think that when you pay $395 a year for a credit card that they'd have some sort of system that makes it easier to find!

Of course, that's not all.

When the Kucz finds herself in Brooklyn, in seems as though all bets are off. How else to explain the conclusion of her piece:

A DISPLAY of Eau de Brooklyn soap ($10 each) was on sale near some vintage books, including "The Blue Flower" by Henry van Dyke ($40), an American clergyman who wrote fairy tales with a religious bent. I opened "The Blue Flower" and read: "He felt an irresistible desire to bathe in the pool. Slipping off his clothes he plunged in. It was as if he bathed in a cloud of sunset. A celestial rapture flowed through him. The waves of the stream were like a bevy of nymphs taking shape around him, clinging to him with tender breasts, as he floated onward, lost in delight, yet keenly sensitive to every impression."

A clergyman longing for the touch of nymphs' breasts, a boutique for disco crochet in Brooklyn: in the shadow of the Manhattan bridge, it all made sense.

Funny, we're still scratching our heads.

Crochet Undergoes an Upgrade [NYT]