Blue States Lose: A Cacophony of Coolness
Madre de dios, it's colder than a witch's snatch out there. But would you like to go to a place where there is no cold? Where hipsters and fashionistas mingle together, casting off the shackles of conventional society? Us too. Unfortunately, the best we can offer you is Misshapes, the singular subject of today's Blue States Lose. Journey past the jump with your tour guide, Alex Blagg. And wear layers, it's freakin' freezing.
10. Misshapes. January 20th, 2007 photo #008: I love this guy. I call him Junior Fantastik. And his weekly befuddlement over why he has yet to achieve Fantastik status - despite being bigger and bangier - never ceases to amuse me.
9. Misshapes. January 20th, 2007 photo #065: You KNEW it was only a matter of time before Andy Samberg and his wacky jokester SNL pals got wind of this whole Misshapes thing.
8. Misshapes. January 20th, 2007 photo #180: You know, when he takes his glasses off, Kid's Meal looks a lot like Princess Coldstare. I'm surprised that I'm surprised.
7. Misshapes. January 20th, 2007 photo #091: HAHA, poor The Other Guy. Even when he thought Gawker was finally talking about him (because that's really what they all want), and at long last it was HIS time to shine, it turns out he was just mistaken for Leotard Fantastik...again.
6. Misshapes. January 20th, 2007 photo #094: There are not one, but TWO pictures of Coldstare getting all cozy with Max "Dad Gets Me Movie Roles Despite My Not Having Any Discernible Acting Talent Other Than This Slacked Jaw" Minghella. Should we start considering the terrifying possibility of these two might procreate and deliver unto the world the most fabulously dumb child it has ever known? Sure, it would be drooling all the time - but it would be drooling sparkly GLITTER!
5.Misshapes. January 20th, 2007 photo #108: Faran: twentysomething, writer for a hot new fashion blog.
Got Her: Stuck between a couple of effeminate-looking guys in the Misshapes photo gallery.
Stalked Her: Because I think irony can still be funny.
Shot Her: Because you have to respect someone who takes their job this seriously.
She Says: I can't hear her because this is a photograph, but I'm sure it would be clever.
We Say: Kudos for braving that ominous white wall in the name of gonzo frontline fashion coverage and actually appearing to enjoy it.
4. Misshapes. January 20th, 2007 photo #112: A few years from now, these two lovebirds are going to be walking through Carroll Gardens, pushing around an Urban Outfitters Bugaboo, loudly arguing over whether Peter Bjorn and John were more artistically viable than the Cold War Kids, and annoying the everloving bejeezus out of everyone within earshot.
3. Misshapes. January 20th, 2007 #021: This dude's "suburban soccer mom sunburnface" juxtaposes nicely with the whole "melancholic undertaker who is a vampire" thing he's got going with his get-up.
2. Misshapes. January 20th, 2007 photo #080: I always enjoy it when the hiptards let a Meatpacking Manny slip into their deck of tards. I'm sure he spent the evening binge drinking alone in the corner, wondering where to find all the topless girls he saw on Last Night's Party. Oh well, trannies have to get laid somehow.
1. Misshapes. January 20th, 2007 photo #024: This is the total package, people. From his funny fake gold teeth to his cliche neck tattoo to the obligatory trinket necklace to the designer vintage cardigan to the skinny white jeans to the furry hat thing he hasn't yet figured out the most retarded way to wear, he is a cacophony of fucking coolness. Is improvement even possible? Yes.
